Monday's Procedure and Uncertainty

Yesterday's procedure did not go well for a couple of reasons.  He did not have his laser available.  The reason this is an issue is because when vinegar is applied, all the precancerous spots turn white.  He was prepared for the two lesions that were big and visible to the eye.  He was able to cut those out - big OUCH.  He was not prepared for the little lesions that became visible to eye once the vinegar was applied.  Thus those are still there because he did not have his laser available.  I guess it was not available because I had the procedure in an ambulatory surgery center and not the hospital???

The pap that I had a couple of weeks ago that about killed me came back inconclusive as to whether they were precancerous or cancerous.  Thus during the procedure, he took biopsies of the vaginal cuff.  I will find out if they are cancerous at my appointment next week.  If it is cancer, radiation is not an option as you can not have over a certain amount of radiation.  Thus, we are talking big time surgery that would leave me with an ostomy bag and an colostomy bag.  Please pray for noncancerous.  If it is cancerous, I have come to terms with having ostomy and colostomy bags - but rather not go there.  I also guess there would also be reconstructive surgery.

HPV and Cancer sucks.  I will keep you posted.  More later -

Today's procedure

I have to be at the out patient surgery facility at the Atrium at 9am for the 11am procedure.  I am ready to have the precancerous lesions cut out.  He will cut those out and try to ensure clean margins (wide area incisions).  It will be painful afterwards - some compare it to having an episiotomy.  I have had one other wide area incision and it was not pleasant.  My mom said cheerfully that we can stop and get a sitz bath. 

I am still not sure what he is going to do on the inside precancerous lesions.  I am just praying that I do not wake up with an ostomy (bladder bag).  Pray for the best and I will update you when I can.  More later -

Will signing party

As my attorney's office calls it - Will signing party - mine will be this week. My kids are almost ten - three almost ten year old triplets - so I am a little late in getting a will.  But hey better now than never.  My mom was over the other day while I went to parent teacher conferences for two of the three (of course they are perfect).  When I got home, my mom and I were talking about the will.  Sarah asked what a will is and I told her that it is for when people die so that things that we own go to the right things and people.

The right people are my three kids.  Sarah's eyes went as big as saucers.  I immediately assured her that I wasn't dying any time soon and calmed her down.  But I also said calmly that death can come any time - getting hit by a bus etc. 

Sure, sometimes I think about cancer and death - how could I not?  I am not afraid of death - I know where I am going and that it will be peaceful, beautiful and no more illness.  The thing I am most afraid of is leaving my little ones before they are ready to spread their wings and fly away to all that is before them.  Gets me everytime I think about it.  So I keep up the good fight and try not to think about it too much.  I love them more than anything - so I am gettting my will done (finally) so they will be protected if I get hit by a bus.  So I will go in next Thursday and have my will signing party with my attorney and my mom. 

So if you are a parent or even if you are not and do not have a will yet, I have a great attorney (email me and I will get you his contact info).  Get it done so that what you have goes to the people you love and want to protect.  Otherwise, the state gets to decide - not a great choice.  More later -

Hospital Red Tape

I had to go in and get blood work done prior to my outpatient procedure this coming Monday.  Getting your blood work done at the hospital prior to a procedure is like getting a tooth pulled without any numbing medication.  You have to register.  You have to check in again at the part of the hospital where they draw the blood.  Not to mention begging them to use my port instead of poking me (I am not an easy person to get blood from or start an IV on).  So the begging paid off - they sent me to another part of the hospital where they would draw blood from my port (good thing).  So you check in there.

Then you sit for another 30 minutes.  The nice nurse draws the blood.  One of the test was and Type and Cross Screen.  So then you have to wait for another nice nurse to work with the nice nurse that drew the blood to double check all the numbers.  Ok - I get it - safety first.

Then you finally leave after two hours.  On the way home, my cell phone rang.  It was the first nice nurse who drew my blood.  She told me that I had to have the test done 3 days prior to the procedure and not 4 days prior to the procedure which of course was today.  At this point, I wanted to scream.  I told her I would call my doc office (there was no way I was going to repeat the above without kicking and screaming first like a baby).  God bless the doc office - they said I didn't have to go back tomorrow!

So I then call the first nice nurse and told her the doc office said I was good to go.  She then told me it was a lab rule and the lab would have to clear it with doc office - fine.  No way I going to repeat the above.

Now I get to go to the hospital on Monday at 9 am for an 11 am procedure.  Gotta love it.  Sit and wait.  As you can tell from this post waiting is not my strong point.  More later -

Biopsy results and plan

The biopsy results returned as the doctor guessed as VIN 2 lesions.  I am going in Monday, Oct. 17th for outpatient surgery to have lesions removed surgically.  This surprised me a bit as the doc said surgery was out due to skin changes and could cause fistulas which would make things so much worse.  There will be wide area incisions to try to get clean margins - so it will be painful afterwards.

It seems they try one treatment after another only for the problem to return.  My prayer is that this will work and it won't come back.  I will have a PET/CT scan at the end of Nov. or the beginning of Dec. to see if cancer is showing any where.  I am especially looking forward to this test and the results and pray that the precancerous lesions are all gone and my lymph nodes are clear.  This is all a waiting game and it kills me to wait for tests and results.

When I know more, I will keep you posted.  More later -

Oncologist appt. 10/5/11

As I said in an earlier post, I dread going to the oncologist.  It is never good news nor do I get out of there without crying at least a little.  Seems the HPV cancer effects have moved to external regions.  After the 5th lidocaine shot, I finally could not feel the biopsy.  He thinks it is VIN 2.  I am to use Premarin to heal the burns internally.  I go back in three weeks so he can see if I have healed internally and make a game plan for what the biopsy results show.

More torture ahead.   VIN 2 is not cancer - it is precancerous.  But still needs to be treated as if it is cancer.  The doc said surgery is probably out as the skin has hardened from the radiation.  So we will have to look at other alternatives: back to the cream that burns me and/or interferon shots (to boost the immune system to fight the HPV).  My vote and prayer is for the shots and that it works.  Surgery could lead to a fissure which means I may end up with a bag for bladder voiding.

Sorry for TMI - but want people to know what can happen to you.  More later -

Welcome to October

This is my fav time of year where it goes from 106 to a cool 90.  The countdown to the gyno-oncologist appointment has begun.  I go Wednesday at 12:30.  Can you say CANCER SUCKS and DREAD.  I need a magic wand - oh yeah if I had one of those none of this would have happened.  I will keep you updated on what he has to say.

A big shout out for all the prayers - thanks a million!  I couldn't make it through this without you!

More later-