Sunday, November 27, 2011


It has been a while since I last posted.  I hope each of you had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends.  I am still feeling good and all is stable.  What a Thanksgiving that is!  I have a quiet week ahead before I go back in for another procedure on Dec. 5th.  Not looking forward to it - but don't have much of a choice.

If that is all I have to complain about - I am lucky.  My kids have been with their father for a little over a week.  I have missed them but have enjoyed the time to rest and have a little fun.  They are due home any moment - can't wait to give them big hugs and kisses!

Thanks to all that have kept me in their prayers.  I know we each have our own struggles.  Personally, some of my family members have been going through tough times with health issues.  Please know that each of you are in my prayers.  There but for the grace of God go I - how true.

More later -

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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Never thought I would get to this point!

Hi All

It's been awhile since I posted.  I have added a place on my blog to enter your email address and you will be notified when I post - hope it works.

When I say I never thought I would get to this point, I mean everything has finally calmed down and is stablized.  My pain is being managed (I have a wonderful pain management doc - if you need one, let me know and I will get the contact info to you).

I don't have umpteen doctor appointments each week.  My pain is being managed.  My TPN feeds are keeping me nourished.  Still want a new bladder - but the meds usually help tremendously.  Still can't eat but that is kind of okay - I MISS FOOD!  But it is usually not worth it to eat unless it is something that is just beyond my saying no to - doesn't happen often but it does happen.  I will lose it all but sometimes I just can't resist.

With Thanksgiving upon us, I am so grateful for all the prayers, my family and feeling somewhat human again.  God has been good and the prayers sent up for me - I am grateful for each one.

More later -

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Thursday, November 10, 2011

A love letter to my Mom

Dear Reader,

Everything I have written about - the good, the bad and the ugly, my Mom has been there every step of the way.  I say thank you all the time.  But I really want to do more.  I want her to understand that I couldn't have made it without her.  She is there time and time again for the good, bad and ugly.  She always says yes to any help I need for either myself or my triplets.

This spring, while I was in the hospital 7 times and things got hairy and scary, she stood by me.  Even through her tears while witnessing some of the not so fun things, she stood by me.  The kids were in school and her husband has Alzheimers and is going down, she ran two households.  I could see in her face she was weary but she never gave up on me or my children or her husband.  Sure, some things did not get done but who cares - they are small and inconsequential. 

So Mom - please know from the bottom of the ocean to the top of the heavens, you are my rock, my best friend, and a wonderful Mom.  I love you so much - much more than words could ever express. 

Now I need to wipe away my tears.  More later -

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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Dear Bladder Part Dos

Dear Really Damaged Bladder,

The severity of your damage I completely understand but completely detest.  Not only do you keep me up at night but today you have been reallllly bad.  Resistant to meds and rest.  What's up?

Is there such things as bladder transplants?  If so, please put me at the top of the list.  Many thanks.

More later-
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Up all night

Dear Bladder,

I know you are damaged.  I know you like to wake me up hourly to go to the restroom.  This gets tiring.  This adds to the great amount of fatigue I experience daily.  Is there any possible way you can stop this? - it is really tiresome.

Can you go back to somewhat normal when I take my meds to calm you down so that I may sleep for more than an hour at a time?  I would greatly appreciate it.  Hope everyone else is sleeping  - because I am not.  I am little jealous - but what is a girl to do.

Rest well.  More later -

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Saturday, November 5, 2011

What Chemo didn't take but Malnutrition did

You know how women are about their hair - it is their crowning glory any way they chose to wear it.  The type of chemo I was given was one that did not make you lose your hair - I thought I had it made.  During treatment, I did lose a little hair but it was more the radiation that took it from me as I couldn't eat very much as it made me sick some of the time.  My hair was falling out a little at a time.

When January rolled around, I got sick.  I couldn't eat much and what I did eat I couldn't keep it very long.  I was telling doctors - gastro doc, oncologist doc that something was wrong.  That was February.  I was sent for test and they couldn't find anything.  Little did I know that radiation was about to rock my world.

I went through March and still couldn't eat.  In February, I started losing hair in clumps.  Every time I brushed or combed my hair, I couldn't believe how much was coming out on the brush or comb.  At the end of March, I went into the hospital with my first intestinal block.  And things went down hill from there as I have about written before.  My hair just kept failing out.

They did not start feeding me through the PICC line until sometime in April.  Finally in the last couple of months when I blow dry my hair, I can see the places where the hair is coming back in.  I was always wearing my hair in a clip so that you couldn't tell how thin my hair had gotten.  Last night, for the first time, I wore my hair down.  Maybe not a biggie for you - but for me, it was wonderful!

I haven't had a haircut since March - did not need one as my hair was not only falling out, it was not growing at all.  For the last  couple of weeks, my bangs have gotten to the point that I know it is growing.  I am so excited even for the littlest of things or should I say a big thing for me.  Time for a cut!

More later -
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Thursday, November 3, 2011

Great Guest Post by David Hass

Overview of Cancer Survivorship

Cancer survivorship is a topic that comes up quite often and is quite important in its own right. It refers to the exclusive group of people who have fought the disease and won. Thus, members of this group understand each other on very base personal levels.

The concept of
survivorship is important because it creates a sense of camaraderie and shared experience. Those who have fought and stayed brave through chemotherapy and radiation therapy often find it difficult to relate to others who have never had the disease. This is where support groups come in.

Internet and in-person groups both serve different purposes. Web-based groups bring together cancer survivors from all over the country and indeed from all over the world. With the click of a mouse button or a few strokes of the keyboard, people can instantly connect with others who are thousands of miles away. Internet-based survivor message boards are important because they allow men and women to share tips. For example, individuals might discuss diet and nutrition, exercise, moral support from family members, or even operations and other surgical procedures. Many times, helpful information can be gleaned and put to work in one’s own life.

Whether a person is suffering from a common disease like breast cancer or a rare and deadly cancer like
mesothelioma, in-person groups are also helpful. People from the same city or region can come together and talk about what they’ve experienced. These can be thought of as group therapy sessions. A doctor, nurse, or psychologist may even lead some of them. Survivors can share stories and help others who are currently battling a malignancy themselves.

Ultimately, these are all ways to release inner emotions and to get complex feelings out in the open. When people take the time to talk about things and pour out their hearts to others, surprising results usually follow. This can sometimes be tough to do, but encouragement from others to speak one’s mind should help quite a bit. Often, men and women will hit upon feelings that they did not even realize were there.

For those individuals looking for such support groups, they can look to local medical organizations for help. Asking around might also yield some helpful information. If individuals are a bit wary of heading to one of these groups, they should give it a try. It may be exactly what is needed.

By: David Haas

Hope you enjoyed his article - it has a lot of great points about surviorship and different ways to reach out.  It also contains great links that I plan to visit and hope you do too.  Thanks to David and his care regarding cancer patients.

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