Some nights are harder than others

As many of my family and friends know, I have triplets - two boys and a girl.  They are currently 9 and will be 10 soon.  I love them to death, wouldn't give one up for anything but sometimes they drive me up the wall.  Last night was a bad night.  I would tell them to do something and of course they wouldn't do it.  The most common plea from each of them was "I didn't hear you."  They say this while they were standing approximately three inches from my face.

I get so frustrated that I cry.  Whenever I get mad or extremely frustrated I cry.  About anything and everything.  So I took their Ipod touches away for a week (a "little" harsh) I know.  They are getting them back tonight - so much for the week.  They will get them back with the explanation of why I took them and what they need to do around the house to keep them.  At the top of that list is listening and doing what I tell them to do.  No kid slavery, just simple things like clean up your mess and put on your pj's (now!)  A very wise woman (my mom), told me they only have one childhood and not to screw it up - they are kids.  Kids don't always do what you tell them to do in the expected amount of time.  I know, I know.

I want them to have as many freedoms as they can within reason.  I want them to be happy.  I want to watch them grow to be the wonderful adults that I know they will be.  I will then consider that I did a pretty fine job.

On other points, I have been crying a lot lately.  Feeling overwhelmed.  Fatigued beyond belief and feeling like I am coming apart at the seams.  I am seeing my psychiatrist in February.  It was supposed to be this month - but insurance blunders galore messed that up. And yes, I see a psychiatrist for a host of reasons that I will not enumerate here.  I will just say what started with the baby blues when the triplets were born at 28 weeks, 5 days has morphed into other issues.

As a side note, when the triplets were born, they had some medical issues.  But they have overcome them all - I consider them my miracle babies.  God is good.

Since I have been crying a lot lately, my wise mom wants me to do a gratitude journal to see if it will lighten my mood.  So here goes:  3 things I am grateful for:

1.  God - who has seen to intervene at the most stressful moments and who is with me all the time.
2.  My mom - whom helps at the drop of a hat to do anything I need.  Thanks Mom!
3.  My miracle babies who are almost ten (my how time flies!)
4.  One more - all those who pray for me daily.  From the dry cleaning lady who is always so nice and has put me on the prayer list at her church to all those who have done the same without my knowing and for all the prayer warriors.  I appreciate all of you more than you could ever know.  If you ever need a prayer back, just let me know.

More later -