In my Spam email

So, I was checking my email and went to go delete the spam messages.  When I saw them, they gave me a chuckle.

I could become a member of the AARP (maybe if I was old enough) and drink coffee to help me from nodding off all day on the couch while sitting up. 

I could use my Horizon Gold Card (didn't read it far enough down so don't know if it is a credit card.  but for purposes here it is a credit card) to purchase some Hanes undies for the times I wasn't using depends to go on a date with a millionaire that I meet through Sugar Daddy email.

More later -