Thursday, September 27, 2012

Wow - did I ever overestimate myself.

In the last post, I said how I was doing better and getting stronger.  I way overestimated myself.  Yesterday, I picked up the kids for a dentist appointment.  I had an appointment that was going to overrun the dentist appointment.  So my mom met me at the dentist office so she could take the kids and I could go to my next appointment.

I went to my next appointment, got petrol for my car and went to CVS pickup a prescription and then home.  I came home crying, overwhelmed and tired to the bone.  I have had some kind of cold that I have been fighting for way too long.  I felt like my Rheumatoid Arthritis was overtaking my body as it does when I am stressed.  I was falling to pieces.

Thanks to mom - the kids had food for dinner.  I felt I could not do one more thing.  I was at my wit's end.  I did not even do that much - but it took everything out of me.  I am almost three months out past my big kaboom on June 2nd when I had sepsis.

Really, when is it my turn to get stronger?  This is taking all I have in me and more.  The doc had told me that most patients with sepsis stay in the hospital for at least 2 months - but I am even past that point.

The fatigue is overwhelming.  Some days I can sleep for a good 18 hours and then when I do wake up, I am in a fog for at least an hour.  I feel like I am sleeping my life away but there is nothing I feel I can do about it.  When does it end?  When do I get to feel close to normal?  I have let so many things slide that need to get done.  I just want my turn to feel awake enough to get it all done.  I will have to wait and see.  I need to get an appointment with my internist - maybe they can help.

Please pray for strength and awareness.

More later -

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