In a big time funk

It has been awhile - so I thought I would put up a small update.  I am in a major funk.  I don't want to leave the house.  I don't want to talk on the phone.  I don't want physical contact with the outside world unless it is absolutely necessary - like doc appointments.

I have two appointments this week.  One not so bad - flu shots for the kids (they are not happy about it as the nose mist is on back order so they have to get the real deal - a shot).  The other is a follow up with my Oncologist post procedure.  The oncologist is the one I dread.

Also getting ready to go out is a huge pain.  I can't just jump in the shower because of my port.  I have to get the bathroom heated up.  Take a bath.  Try not to lose my balance getting out of the tub.  Dry off, dress, then off to the kitchen to wash my hair in the sink.  After that, I am worn out and have to take a rest so that I can continue to get ready.

Funky part - I have had only one haircut since March 2011.  So much of my hair fell out when I was unable to eat. It is getting thicker but like I said, just don't want to get out.  Same things with my pedis and manis - been a very long time.  I use to have a great paying job.  I am having to say no a lot more to the kids when they ask.  I have to get groceries, $20 band shirts, 3 pairs of khakis- the list goes on.  Also my cobra payment is going from $600 to $1,000.  Goes on and on.

Don't want to be in this mind set - just need a road map out.

More later -